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Jan. 6th, 2008


Seriously? seriously??

Why is it that as soon as you think things are going smoothly, something has to come along to mess it up? Like finding out that your lease is really not up until Feb. 29th. Maybe I should have realized that, but I swear I thought it was up on the 1st. So now comes the hard part of finding a way to pay two rents for two months instead of one. I finally reached the point of financial security and then BAM!! It was nice while it lasted though.

Totally freaky storm this week. Winds going every which way, rain coming down in torrents, debris rolling across the streets, trees falling down. My grampa's tree fell, luckily his car was in the shop. Now he just has extra firewood. The power went out for the better part of the day on Friday. I actually left work early as we even lost phone service. CRAZY!!

You know what else is crazy?? Relationships. I know this subject is seriously exhausted, but it's what I mostly think about, because he is all I think about. Why do relationships have to be so confusing? I think we may get back together this year, because I think we belong to each other. I know we need to work on communication, I have a hard time with that. I think because I am always afraid to say what I'm thinking. But I'm hoping that as I become more mature, it will get a little bit easier. And I know that he needs to mature as well. But I think that the fact that we have remained best friends through all this means something. And then there are the kisses. =]

I also love that we know what the other will like, music and movie-wise. I don't exactly know why it does, but it makes me smile a little just to think about the things he recommends to me. He surprises me. That is certainly a good thing.

By the way, I watch way too much Grey's Anatomy and I compare the situations to my life, and I think that if George and Izzie can do it, so can we.

Jan. 1st, 2008


Happy New Year

Hoping that the new year is full of surprises. Welcome 2008!!

*And the cat just threw up.

Dec. 12th, 2007


more chocolate, please.

Spent the entire day with a headache that neither worsened nor lessened. It was just there, being annoying...like when your sister stares at you, and when you tell her to stop, she just stares that much more intently.

Am staying strong on my resolution to not call that boy. But if he never calls me back, I don't know what I will do...call him once more, I suppose, to give him his Christmas presents. And I'm not sure who is more ot of whack, me or that boy.

Dec. 5th, 2007


(no subject)

It seems as though life is moving way too fast these days. The weeks fly by, and then the months, and before you know it, it's almost Christmas and everyone is moving at super warp hyper speed. (thinking something nerdy, like making a Star Trek reference to the Enterprise, but I shall refrain) Not only that, but everyone my age, those that I have known, are married or having babies and it feels like I am far behind. Not that I am ready for that yet, but I sort of wish there were prospects. Or at least I wish I didn't feel as though I am slow to develop, or whatever.

Part of what has made this half of the year go by so quickly is the fact that I finally have a new job. It feels good not to do something so...demeaning, like serve popcorn on Christmas morning without so much as a thank you. I have a new apartment on the way. I can't wait. My car is fixed and is back to being great. The only thing I would change is the dreadful cold that this winter has brought. Bring on the rain instead, please.

Nov. 18th, 2007


an illness, a sickness, a disease

this feeling. is commitment really so complicated? and at this point, do i stay where i am, waiting for him to come back? he's my best friend, and at the end of the day, he is the one i want to talk to, to share things with. take it or leave it. but i don't think he can accept it. so do i wait?

or am i ready to move on? i've been wondering if what they say is true...that second love is better than the first. so now what? do i keep my eyes open for someone else? because it feels like i know, in my heart, that he could also be my second. that a new version of him will blossom and he will be ready to accept and to reciprocate and we will love and grow and live. thats what i feel. is it wrong to feel this, to keep on feeling it with no sign that it is really true? i dont know. i just dont know. because my head says, hey thats it, thats enough, stop dwelling on this boy who cant appreciate you and who isnt ready to grow up. but my heart just wants to wait. im good at waiting. i've done it a long time. surely i can do just a little bit more?

Nov. 10th, 2007

tea zuko

in which it rained a lot and i got new shoes

saw american gangster and ate lunch with dan today. also got a pizookie. so delectable. finally put the new table up and its beautiful. now i need a nice apartment to fit my table. went to my moms for dinner, more pasta, but it was good and filling. got a pair of running shoes which i will try out tomorrow. took grampa home. and it hasnt stopped raining since i got out of the movie, and maybe before that.

i love the rain.

Oct. 21st, 2007

atrix wolfe icon by <lj user="m_icons">

San Francisco

Spent a long weekend in San Francisco. And even though we were only there for a little over 24 hours, it was a long and exhausting day.

Got up at 4:45ish, didn't take my mom to the bus stop lol.
8:30ish went to the bakery where my cute Aunt Soonie works, ate a cranberry scone.
9ish drove through the city to park at the SF Park and cheered for my mom at the 15 mile mark. She ran the Nike Women's Marathon. Walked 1.5 miles to make it to the finish line. Walked another 1.5 miles to the Cliffhouse. Had a drink with Kathy and Grampa. Got sun-burned, as usual.
12ish cheered for my mom at the finish line, ate some chicken, walked 1.5 miles to the car...

lol. Did a bit more walking and eating. Saw a $1.9 million home, then walked across the street and saw a $2.5 million home. The first one was beautiful, the second had a few too many giant chinese statues, and smelled funny.

I have decided that I am going to run/walk the half marathon next year. At the finish you receive a Tiffany's necklace. My mom's is so pretty. And I think I can do it. And it's also an excuse to go SF. Such a beautiful city if you know where to go.

Oct. 16th, 2007


my favorite

sister has a boyfriend...so cuuuuttteeee! Lol. I love it. She's growing up so fast.
His name is Patrick and he's a little funny looking, but in a good way...but hey, isn't that the case with all the good ones?

My brother also has a girlfriend. Not sure if I mentioned that. They are cute together as well.

To be young and in love....


Oct. 13th, 2007


A Myspace message won't give you the answers that you want.

Why must people try and find out why things are done, and they say things like "karma is a bitch." I know Karma is a bitch. I really do. I did what I did, oh well. You did what you did, oh well. Explaining things just draws it out. If you want the truth, then think about it. That's all it takes. You don't want to know the truth. You want more drama. I may have been a bitch, but someone came forward and wanted all things done right. That's it. Don't make me feel guilty for your bad choices, and just accept that I am not your friend. So move on. Let it go. Use better judgment in the future. I will try not to be a bitch in the future. So sorry you lost your job, but you did it to yourself.

Oct. 6th, 2007

tea zuko

(no subject)

feeling weird right now
not sure what to do about it
not sure about much actually
am tired with boys

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